Write a commentWhen you get older, things don't bounce back the way they used to. Sometimes you slip on ice and, even though you didn't fall, all the muscles in your lower back ache for the next few weeks.
Back in the winter of 2015, I was walking into the Oswego Cinema during a freezing rain storm and I went down directly on my tailbone, right in front of the dinner patrons at the former La Parilla. They had a good laugh but I'm still feeling the effects of that injury just over a decade out. I believe I've even developed arthritis in my tailbone so anytime we experience one of those summer thunderstorms, I can feel in an inconvenient place ahead of time.
You tend to reflect on the past. How did I get to where I'm at? Where am I going? What's the point to all of this? The thoughts of a normal anxious adult.
These should not be the thoughts of sentient appliances in a children's film.
"The Brave Little Toaster" may be a good chunk of the reason why I experienced depression as a child. I remember watching this film as a kid, because my parents probably thought it was just a normal kids movie, and feeling so downtrodden afterwards. Because I was an obsessive tyke, I would watch things often. I had a vague memory of it once I hit adulthood and didn't see it for a long time. Then I decided to buy it online, watching it after that and, my word, it is horrible.
None of this is to say that the film itself is bad. The movie is extremely charming, some of the songs are catchy and all the characters are genuinely well-written. But the idea of marketing a movie like this to children seems like some form of advanced abuse. My parents did their best to shield me from certain things, because they knew I was afraid of my shadow, so they'd show me things like this. I think this might be worse. My father also showed me the Headless Horseman segment from "The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad" when I was young, but that was overtly scary. My father knew to be careful and to make sure I wasn't geeking out by bedtime. He didn't count on the insidious nightmare that was "The Brave Little Toaster".
The plot centers around a group of abandoned items in a cabin or summer home that decide to go on an adventure to find their owner. After the air conditioning unit (voiced by Phil Hartman doing a Jack Nicholson impression) seemingly blows itself up, the group sets out, determined to reunite. On its surface, "The Brave Little Toaster" makes sense as a movie for kids, but the messaging is very adult. Themes of loneliness and abandonment are prevalent throughout. There's even a song called "Worthless" that's set at a junkyard while other sentient appliances get destroyed and turned into recycling. You know, the hip swaying hit single "Worthless". Your kids'll love it.
And that's kind of it. Is it well made? Certainly. Well written and drawn? For sure. Should you show it to your children? Eh, I don't know for certain. Maybe if your child is intelligent and sensitive beyond their years and they understand it's just a movie, perhaps. Otherwise, the cost to watch this will stretch beyond the simple DVD purchase and into years of therapy bills ultimately leading to the kids becoming movie critics. What a fate.
Kids (and adults) should know their value is based upon the quality of their character and not what use they have. No one is ever "Worthless". Flaws for some can actually be superpowers for others.
If you'll excuse me, I have to shut my car windows. I get the feeling a storm is coming.
The Brave Little Toaster (1987)
Directed by Jerry Rees
Featuring the Voices of: Jon Lovitz, Timothy Stack, Timothy E. Day, Deanna Oliver, Phil Hartman, Mindy Sterling
Runtime: 90 minutes
MPAA Rating: not rated (if submitted to the MPAA, it would probably be G or PG)
Rating (out of ****): ***
"The Brave Little Toaster" is not streaming at the moment, but you can purchase the DVD through Amazon.
