Write a commentYou can't go home again.
I'm sure many of you out there have heard or read this quote before. It's a simple statement and one that didn't make much sense to me until I got older. I don't think most people become nostalgic until they get up in years.
The idea behind the quote isn't literal. Of course you can go home again. Most people go home every night. What the quote means basically is there's no way to relive moments of your life. I'd give just about anything to spend another 15 minutes with either of my parents or other since passed relatives, but it wouldn't be the same. If 2026 Adam went back to 2006 to have a chat with either of my parents, 2026 Adam would likely have a bad time.
When I was younger, my older brother owned a Nintendo Entertainment System. I always wanted to play it, but oftentimes, my brother would come up with this or that reason as to why I couldn't. Every so often, I was blessed with some time playing one of the many games we had.
I don't think there are many people out there that haven't played some iteration of Super Mario Bros., and there are a lot of them. It's kinda hard to choose a favorite. As with most games in a series, the Mario games became more complex. Instead of a side scroller of the original, now you have the open world of Super Mario Odyssey. A weird game for the simple fact you can throw your hat and possess most anything, bringing up all kinds of questions about whether or not a Goomba consented to be possessed by Mario's hat.
Most video games, especially the popular ones, end up adapted into feature films. The original Super Mario Bros. movie from 1993 is one of the most bizarre movies you'll ever see. It's mostly okay but too strange for its own good. It has charm but it's an outright failure as a Super Mario Bros. adaptation.
So bad that it took 30 years for another attempt at an adaptation. The Super Mario Bros. Movie doesn't have a high bar to clear. In order for it to be good, it would have to be better than the 1993 version. The filmmakers decided to go the animated route, which makes sense to a degree, but the actual content of the film leaves a lot to be desired.
This version of the film is really nothing more than a series of references to different games in the Mario universe strung together by a threadbare plot. Mario has to save the princess. We all know that. The movie is written with the same style of humor as Shrek: comedy for the kids and in-jokes for the adults. Except, it doesn't hit all the correct notes.
The main issue is the absolute banality of the voicework. As talented and charismatic some of these performers have been in other things, none of them bring their characters to life. Chris Pratt has been in a few things that I've appreciated over the years but his version of Mario is completely pointless. It begs the question: what's the point of getting Pratt to voice Mario?
He doesn't sound like Mario and he has so little energy. His voice isn't even that unique enough. It's not like he has the strange cadence of Christopher Walken or depth of James Earl Jones. He just sounds like "Regular Dude". For however much he was paid for this gig, it could have been spent on someone that would actually, I don't know, try.
The same goes with Anya Taylor-Joy. She has a nice voice but it doesn't bring anything special to the role. It just sounds like most of the voice cast is lounging around and struggling to stay upright during their sessions. And I'm sure someone out there is going to say, "What about Jack Black?" Black does his Jack Black thing and most of that is okay, but it gets tiring after a while.
I will admit there were a few points where I smiled or chuckled, but nothing that was really worth the price of admission. I'm usually a pretty easy mark when it comes to nostalgia bait if it's done correctly or with some amount of effort. With this version, it's like watching paint dry.
Is this a case of "you can't go home again"? Possibly. Maybe if I was 15-20 years younger some of the humor would have hit a little better. I get the feeling, however, that the success of this film will lead to many more like it. Maybe in 15-20 years, I'll look back on The Super Mario Bros. Movie with a great deal of fondness, though I highly doubt it. Until then, I'll play some of the older games and try to relive my childhood, attempting in vain to "go home again".
Maybe I can even have my brother deny me access to my gaming system to really complete the nostalgia trip.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)
Directed by Aaron Horvath & Michael Jelenic
Cast: Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor-Joy, Charlie Day, Jack Black, Keegan-Michael Key, Seth Rogen, Fred Armisen, Charles Martinet
Runtime: 93 minutes
MPAA Rating: PG (for action and mild violence)
Rating (out of ****): 1/2
The Super Mario Bros. Movie is currently streaming on Peacock with a subscription as well as all major streaming platforms for rent or buy. There are also physical media options including Blu-Ray and 4K Blu-Ray disc.
