Write a commentEveryone has a favorite conspiracy theory. And, no, I don't mean the 1997 Mel Gibson film Conspiracy Theory.
People have doubted what they've been told for longer than I've been alive. Probably even longer than anyone reading this has been alive. They're fun to think about. Rumors and conjecture are always more interesting than the truth and I have a concrete example.
I worked at Lowe's of Oswego for just under 3 years. In the time I worked there, employees came and went as though through a revolving door. People would start, realize it was terrible and then leave shortly thereafter. One particular employee we'll call Cynthia.
Cynthia was going to SUNY Oswego at the time and was part of one of their sorority chapters. A couple of months into her working there, my father died. I took around two weeks of bereavement and came back to work on Saturday, January 24th. Everyone that worked there knew about my dad. There were a lot of well-wishers, but Cynthia made a point to talk to me about it.
Because no one there could mind their business, one of the older department managers sidled up to Cynthia and me, saying, "Hey, Adam. Y'know, Cynthia turns 21 at midnight. Everyone is going out. You should let loose for once in your life."
I could feel the blood rush to my face. Cynthia laughed, turning away. "So, what of it? Wanna go," she laughed.
I stammered, trying to find something funny or clever to say. Nothing materialized so I just nodded. Cynthia laughed and the other coworker slapped me on the back extremely hard. I took a deep breath, shaking my head.
For the remainder of the shift, a bunch of different employees had approached me to wish me luck, pat me on the back and sometimes, weirdly, wink at me. I don't like people winking at me. It's weird. More often than not, it looks like they have some sort of facial tic. There's no such thing as a well-placed or smooth-looking wink. You could be Antonio Banderas and still wink like Mr. Bean.
Everyone was acting like Cynthia and I were going on a date. Cynthia knew I was uncomfortable about it but thought it was funny how I was reacting. I did not see the humor in it. The real issue with us going out for her birthday was the fact that like 15-20 others from work were going as well. I was going to have to fight to be heard, especially in a bar, but I said I would go so now I was stuck.
The first bar that we went to was packed. One of my coworkers was about to buy a round. He asked what I wanted. "You can...if they have water, that'll be fine."
"Yo, you were supposed to let loose. Water is not the drink of someone that lets loose."
"You're absolutely right. Water is the drink of someone that doesn't want to get a DUI on his way home."
"Wasn't your dad a cop?"
I nodded. "Yes, Tom."
"Then use him to get out of a ticket."
"He just died like two weeks ago."
"Then you'll definitely get out of the ticket."
"Water is fine. Thank you for offering."
Tom shrugged, placing the order. All of the other coworkers swarmed Cynthia. I stood back, sipping on my water. This process continued throughout the night as we went to different bars. Each subsequent bar, a few coworkers would leave and eventually just myself, Cynthia and this tall guy we'll call Ian.
Ian was not a fan of mine. I don't blame him; I'm not the easiest person to like or get along with sometimes. When it was down to just the three of us, the alcohol had caught up to him. He wasn't steady on his feet whatsoever. When the bartender informed us of last call, Ian insisted on buying Cynthia and himself a final shot of whiskey. They both took the shots, slamming the empty glasses down on the bar.
Ian turns to me saying, "Okay, Adam. We're all set here. You can go."
"Oh. Okay, did you guys want me to give you a ride or were you taking a taxi?"
Ian scoffed. "I'm taking Cynthia back to her house with my truck."
I said, "I don't think that's the best idea. A soft breeze could knock you down. Why don't you let me take both of you home?"
Cynthia said, "Yeah, Ian. I'm not up for company, anyway. Let Adam take you home."
Cynthia put a gentle hand on the inside of Ian's elbow. Ian yanked his arm away from Cynthia. He spouted off a few choice words to me and to Cynthia before storming out of the bar. Cynthia laughed nervously. "He's not happy."
I nodded. "I guess not. I can still take you home, though. I haven't been drinking."
"I certainly hope so. It's freezing outside," Cynthia laughed.
Cynthia kept up with all the drinks that were bought for her so that, combined with the fact she was so small, made it so she was quite drunk. I helped her on with her coat and she used me to keep her balance as we walked outside to my vehicle. As I let her in, Ian sped by, revving his engine as he passed.
We got back to Cynthia's house. Her roommates were all part of the same sorority, but none of them were home. As the car idled, I told her I hope she's able to get decent rest and there was an awkward silence.
"You're not coming up?"
"Coming up where," I asked, thoroughly confused.
Cynthia laughed. "To make sure I make it upstairs, dork."
"I don't see how that makes me a dork, but yeah. Let's go."
I took the keys out of the ignition, getting out of the car. I went around the front, opening the door for Cynthia. She put her arm around me and we walked up the stairs to her porch as though I was removing her from an active battlefield. We got inside and I stood her up, patting her on the shoulder.
"Alright, then. Take care of yourself and happy..."
"My bedroom is on the second floor," Cynthia said, smiling.
"So is mine."
"No, I mean, I need help up those stairs, too."
I bent over so she could put her arm back around my neck. We trekked up the stairs carefully. As we got to the second floor, she walked to a door. She stopped, turning to me. "Have you ever seen my room?"
"Cynthia, I didn't know you lived here until about 10 minutes ago."
"Oh, right. Well, come in for a second so I can show you around."
Cynthia opened the door, walking over the threshold and into her room. I hesitated for a moment.
"What are you doing? Get in here."
I stepped over the threshold and Cynthia shut the door behind me.
Now, let's do an experiment:
There are only two real questions here that matter.
What do you think happened after the door was shut?
What is the more interesting story?
Unfortunately for society, the more interesting story is usually what is disseminated. Anyone who has seen The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance knows that. The more interesting story is the conclusion I'm sure many of you came to. We're wired for drama and conspiracy and rumors and conjecture.
Why is that? Maybe because our lives are boring and people believe lying is fun. I always believed lying was annoying, mainly because it's a lot of effort for nothing. I could very well say right now that Cynthia and I decided to start dating after this alcohol-fueled evening. That I professed my feelings for her as soon as the door shut.
When I arrived to work for my next shift, the entire store was abuzz with what happened between Cynthia and me. Everyone was invested in it. One of my department managers told me, "I think you're due for a win." And I would explain to people what actually happened.
(Cynthia shut the door, continuing our conversation. Without warning and with her back to me, she began to get changed. I whipped myself around and faced the door as we continued to talk. She came over my shoulder after a moment, asked why I turned around and I said, "Because I'm not a creep." We then walked downstairs, Cynthia jumped into my arms from the railing. I set her down, said good night and left.)
Anytime I told anyone about that, they wouldn't believe me. They didn't care. Ian, apparently, got into work the next day and was telling people that I tore Cynthia away from him and I drove away with her, leaving him to have to drive home drunk. When asked by others, Ian would tell them, "I have no idea what Adam is capable of." Cool guy.
With almost no information, the whole interaction between Cynthia and I was blown out of proportion. When I finally saw Cynthia again, I told her about all the rumors swirling about. She laughed. "Let them talk."
People can and will convince themselves of anything. There have been times that I've been at work or at home by myself and I'll hear a noise. There are perfectly logical explanations for any number of noises, but my mind will jump to one of two things: 1. Ghost or 2. Serial killer. Things don't need to have any logical footing to scare you and that itself is terrifying.
At first glance in "Bugonia", Teddy (Plemons) seems like one of those types. He is thoroughly convinced that a woman named Michelle (Stone) is an alien. He claims to have evidence to back up his theory, but much of it can be explained away. Teddy along with his cousin Don (Delbis) take it a step further and actually kidnap Michelle in order to use her to communicate with her alien race.
----------------------------SPOILERS AHEAD-------------------------
The film doesn't play fair. The whole time, Teddy and Don are presented as just shy of being insane. I mean, of course, right? It would be crazy to think that this whole movie was leading to Michelle actually being an...
...Wait, what?
After a lot of dipping and dodging done by the plot, it turns out that Teddy was right. It's too bad neither he nor Don survive until that's revealed. Sure as anything, Michelle turns out to be an alien. Earth is part of an experiment. Once back to her ship, she speaks to other aliens and they decide to end life on Earth.
And that's the end of the movie.
Unfortunately, you need to either need to be fully on board with this ending or, like me, you end up pretty disappointed. The way that Teddy and Don are presented is somewhat sympathetic. Later in the film, we find out Teddy has been doing experiments on other people he suspected to be aliens. There are body parts in jars and the like.
As much praise as Stone has gotten for her performance, I think Plemons has a lot more of the heavy lifting to do dramatically. As Teddy, Plemons really makes you feel for the guy. Yeah, he's definitely misguided, but the film gives you enough of his background to realize that he didn't really have a chance socially.
Stone is characteristically good, but it's kind of two notes.
First note: "I'm definitely NOT an alien."
Second note: "I'm definitely an alien."
With such a stacked year for great performances, it's strange to me that Stone was nominated for an Oscar. I've always liked Stone, but her status as "America's sweetheart" is overshadowing her performances. She's a talented performer, but this is not an Oscar worthy performance.
---------------------END SPOILERS------------------------
Once the film was finished, I just kinda shrugged my shoulders. I liked some of the performances, some of the scenes were effective, but it didn't stick the landing and the music score is flat out obnoxious. Lanthimos needs to take a few years off and reconnect with what really inspires him. While definitely a good movie, I can't imagine a scenario where a film like this gets nominated for the awards it has.
------------------------SPOILERS AHEAD-----------------------
Is it worth your time? Maybe. I would just caution that the ending is likely going to frustrate people as it did me. The movie could have ended one of two ways: Teddy and Don are actually crazy or they were right all along.
Turns out, they were right all along. But the film never tells you how to feel about it. It doesn't really offer a comment on how people become radicalized. It just presents a problem without a solution or commentary.
------------------------SPOILERS END---------------------------
If you were to apply what happens at the end of "Bugonia" to my story about Cynthia's birthday, my coworkers would have been correct. That's a scary prospect and people's conjecture should never be rewarded.
The truth is never as interesting as a lie someone makes up.
Unless you're Teddy and Don.
Bugonia (2025)
Directed by Yorgos Lanthimos
Cast: Emma Stone, Jesse Plemons, Aidan Delbis, Stavros Halkias, Alicia Silverstone
Runtime: 119 minutes
MPAA Rating: R (for bloody violent content including a suicide, grisly images and language)
Rating (out of ****): **1/2
"Bugonia" is streaming on Peacock with a subscription as well as on all major streaming platforms to rent or buy. It also is available to purchase on Blu-Ray and 4K Blu-Ray.
