I'm somewhat of a Debbie Downer at times.
It's something I've been accused of most of my life by many people. It probably explains why I often gravitate towards people who seem to radiate positivity. It's like exposure therapy. Maybe if I spend more time around the sunlight, it won't always feel so grim. It doesn't always work and, more often than not, people get frustrated with continually pushing back against my more depressive days.
That said, I do my best to keep things on an even keel. If I'm at a party, I try to participate before my overwhelming social anxiety doesn't take hold. It's not like if there's a child that brings me a flower from a garden, I start in on them about deforestation and the depletion of the O-zone layer. I take the flower, smile and say "thank you".
The thing about depression is that it's like quicksand. You start ruminating on it and, before you know it, you're neck deep in it. It's easy to be negative and much more difficult to remain positive, especially in today's landscape.
See what I mean? Right there, I almost went into a tributary about how so much is bad these days, but I caught myself. Movies have always been my way of pulling myself back from the brink. If my day is going particularly bad, I find a clip (if I'm at work) or watch a full movie (when I'm home) to pull me out of the bad thoughts.
It may not come as much of a surprise to anyone that knows me or anyone that reads my reviews regularly that horror can be a comfort to me. I'm not talking making myself a cup of Joe and throwing on Cannibal Holocaust. Goofier stuff. Stuff that makes me laugh or stuff that reminds me of when I first discovered it.
One of these films is Army of Darkness. This is a movie that goes out of its way to make sure you're entertained. It is continually goofy, fun and, despite some of its horror content, pretty positive. The bad guys lose, the arrogant hero wins and he gets the girl at the end. All the while, it's a brisk 81 minutes and is wall-to-wall joy.
Sam Raimi has been one of my favorite directors for a long time. All of his movies, even his more serious ones, have this thruline of humor to them. The way he shoots and stages his action is head and shoulders above many other working directors. I've always believed that Raimi had a hold on how audiences will react to things and, like a brat, he enjoys poking at people to get reactions.
When I say "brat", I don't mean he's mean-spirited. Not at all. In fact, he's like the little brother at a party that just wants to be part of the group so he pulls pranks on people, hoping that will curry favor for him. Raimi has always been about the theatrical experience and getting reactions from people. His Spider-Man trilogy (yes, even the third) showed us his unerring sense of positivity and joy. Each of those films is so clearly a Raimi film. While the third was confusing considering the involvement of the producers, you can still feel Raimi having a lot of fun the whole time.
And maybe that's why I gravitate towards him. He's fun, goofy and you can feel his energy when you watch one of his movies. Some may not be as good as others, but you can definitely feel his influence. A true auteur of goofiness.
Seeing the first few trailers for Evil Dead Burn, I got a pit in my stomach. Not a fun pit in my stomach like, "Ooh, this is going to be creepy and fun!" More like, "OH, no. This looks generic." The problem with movies in this franchise is no trailer will do it justice. Most of them have heavy gore and violence throughout and are propped up by these set pieces. Whatever they show in a trailer will either be edited around or edited out completely.
Give it a chance, I thought. It'll be okay...
Saw it on a Sunday afternoon. The theater had a decent crowd, maybe 10-15 besides me, and they seemed like they would be into it. Except for the guy behind me that would not shut up about Kalshi and his "portfolio". Brother, if you're seated for Evil Dead Burn and concerned about your portfolio, maybe find something else to do on a Sunday afternoon.
I am regretful to say that this film was a major disappointment. A woman goes out one night with her husband, brother-in-law and her brother-in-law's girlfriend. They're all drinking and the husband gets jealous, abusive and angry, speeding off into the night. On his way wherever, he runs down a Deadite who lights his car on fire. He dies, we get a title card and shortly after, we're dealing with the funeral.
The abusive man's parents blame the wife for the death of her husband despite there being pints of alcohol in his system. The family seems to know what a rotten human being and how abusive their son is, but have chosen to play ostrich instead. After the funeral, the Deadites begin infecting the family one-by-one and our Evil Dead movie finally starts.
This entire movie is a drag. Clearly taken its cues more from the "everything is about trauma" camp of horror we seem to be stuck in these days and less from Raimi's original trilogy, Evil Dead Burn doesn't really know what it wants to be. At no point did I feel like I was watching an Evil Dead film. It felt more like a guy that wanted to make one movie and shoehorned it into an Evil Dead script.
The attempts at humor in the film are pretty stupid, poorly executed or both. Most of the gore set pieces are the director trying to show off an unbroken take, which is something else that bothers me. We look at all the prime examples of a "oner" where the camera does not break from one shot for an extended amount of time. Some call attention to themselves, some don't. If any of these one-take shots are littered with CGI to cover up the seams in production, does it remain impressive or take away from it? Is it just an exercise in a peacock showing its feathers or does it mean something?
The other thing to bear in mind here is that none of what's shown is scary. There's very little tension/suspense and we're often just being shoved around through set pieces. Beyond all of that, you can tell the director did not care whatsoever about the actual characters. Most of the family drama is shot in a very boring fashion with little to no enthusiasm. Remember when your parents used to make you eat your vegetables before dessert? Remember how unenthusiastically you'd do so? That's what this feels like.
Beyond the film lacking any tension, it was also kinda boring. There were several times that I dozed in the theater. This was an afternoon movie! There's no reason why I should have been falling asleep during a horror movie. But, that's just it. That same palpable excitement I feel anytime I watch a Raimi film was not there. There was no excitement, no grandeur, no goofiness. No fun.
And I get what I'm saying and how it might sound a little strange. You might be thinking, "What's wrong with this guy? He wants a movie where people get cut apart to be fun?" First off, no one has been able to answer the question of what's wrong with me, but to answer the second question, "Wouldn't you?"
If you have to sit through a movie where a bunch of people are torn apart limb from limb, wouldn't you want it to have a little levity? Some humor. I don't mean like the lame stuff we get in this movie. It's all about tone. You can't just decide here's a stupid funny joke I'm going to throw in the middle of this chaos and expect the audiences are going to respond to it. You need to set it up from the beginning. Set-up and payoff. Very simple.
It gives me no pleasure to say how disappointed I was in Evil Dead Burn. With all the amazing horror films that came out this year so far, I was looking forward to another win. Instead, I got dragged through a series of domestic violence scenes peppered with some abhorrent gore and violence. I didn't care about the characters, the camerawork was inconsistent and nothing really gelled by the end. I will say that there were some good looking shots here and there, but nothing that would make me want to see another one of this particular director's films.
I definitely can be seen as a Debbie Downer at times, but the lack of quality in Evil Dead Burn is not me being negative. It's reality. And sometimes, reality sucks. I don't think it's a lot to ask for a quip or two from a plucky hero.
Instead, we get some guy stabbing the crap out of a dog. Yay?
Evil Dead Burn (2026)
Directed by Sébastien Vaniček
Cast: Souheila Yacoub, Tandi Wright, Hunter Doohan, Luciane Buchanan, Erroll Shand
Runtime: 110 minutes
MPAA Rating: R (for strong bloody horror violence and gore, and language)
Rating (out of ****): *1/2
Evil Dead Burn is currently in theaters.
