Write a commentThere's a reason fast food restaurants are popular. People aren't always looking for tuna tartar. Sometimes, you just want a greasy burger with fries.
Usually, with a meal like that, you regret it later on. That regret can manifest itself physically or emotionally. They're not called "guilty pleasures" by accident.
The idea of a guilty pleasure stretches beyond just food. Sometimes, it's a person. Or a Lifetime movie. Considering we're nearing the holiday season, I'm sure there are plenty of single, businesswomen who are looking for love while running a cookie business around Christmas and that firefighter she never gave the time of day back in high school will sweep her off her feet. I watched one where a nutcracker came to life and helped with a cookie business. Nutcracker comes to life as a real person.
Is this art? In the most general sense, yes. People put their time and effort into making them. But, the short order cooks at your local diner also put their time and effort into cooking. Doesn't make you any less guilty when you're consuming the product. If you were to watch nothing but Lifetime movies, it would be the equivalent to eating nothing but a double bacon cheeseburger every day of the week. As a matter of fact, the Lifetime diet may force you to see a doctor just like the cheeseburger would.
What I'm saying is there's a time and a place for most things. Someone somewhere in the past told me, "Everything in moderation. Including moderation." I'm not targeting Lifetime movies as though I'm above them. Not in the least. I've always been of the mentality that in order to appreciate the well-established classics, you need to watch your share of the well-established dreck.
Enter John Grissmer's "Blood Rage".
The tone of the film is immediately established. It begins at a drive-in where a woman (Lasser) brings her twin sons. One of the sons is a huge creep, the other seems innocent. The mother, in the first of many bad parenting decisions, is too busy necking with the guy she's with to notice her boys exit the vehicle. Creep Twin starts watching a younger couple in a car and proceeds to hatchet the man in the face. Creep Twin makes the quick decision to cover Quiet Twin in the blood. Quiet Twin gets blamed for the murder and sent to a mental institution. The 80s were a wild time.
Years pass and Creep Twin was able to have a normal life while his brother is set to be released on Thanksgiving. Creep Twin decides to go on a murder rampage while Quiet Twin tries to thwart Creep Twin's efforts. And now, we're off to the races.
This movie runs at an incredible pace. At only 82 minutes (a runtime that includes both opening and ending credits), it breezes by. People start getting killed in increasingly gruesome ways while the mother seems to be having a feature length mental breakdown in the B plot. But, and I'm not trying to be too judgmental here, if you're coming to watch a movie called "Blood Rage" and you're concerned about the plotting, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
That's not to say the film is without its merits. Mark Soper, the actor playing both twins, is talented enough to make each of the brothers distinguishable. Granted, they have different hairstyles and clothing, but the characters are different enough that you can tell there was some actual thought put behind it. Unfortunately, he's pretty much the only actor that is decent.
Louise Lasser is all over the place. While this quality makes sense for her character, her performance goes beyond just that. She's distracting and she plays the role like she's in a melodrama from the 1950s instead of a cheesy horror film. Her scenes take away from the killing spree and you're kinda just waiting to get back to that.
This movie is definitely not for all tastes. I'm not even saying it's a good movie, but it is an incredibly entertaining one. "Blood Rage" works as something to have on as an alternative to football on Thanksgiving while the food is being prepared. Best not to watch it while you're eating, however.
It's a double bacon cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate malted milkshake. Watch "The Godfather" or "Citizen Kane" some other time. It's the easy choice.
A lot of food metaphors in this one. Like going to a grocery store while hungry, I'm starting to think I shouldn't write these reviews on an empty stomach.
Blood Rage (1987)
Directed by John Grissmer
Cast: Louise Lasser, Mark Soper, Julie Gordon, Jayne Bentzen
Runtime: 82 minutes
MPAA Rating: Rated R
Rating (out of ****): **1/2
"Blood Rage" is available on Blu-Ray via Arrow Video as well as on AppleTV for purchase or rent digitally.
