Write a commentThe enjoyment of a road trip is typically reliant upon the people that join you.
I've had some dismal road trips in the past that were made exponentially better due to who I was with at the time. A while back, a good friend of mine had to audition in person for a modeling agency near Nashville. The audition was set for the end of January. For those of you who have lived through a winter in New York, that kind of travel by car can be especially treacherous.
The trip was around 12 hours and for the first 7 or 8 hours, the roads were clear. Oddly enough, the closer we got to our destination, the worse the weather was. The snowstorm shifted south and most of the area most affected by the storm didn't have snow plows nor salt for the streets. It could have easily been a terrifying or perhaps even fatal experience.
However, my friend and I made it work. We kept up the conversation, sang along to "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and switched off driving occasionally. By the time we got to the hotel, people were holed up there like it was the apocalypse. No one in that area had any idea what to do with the snow so it just sat on the roads. But, we made it there and it has become a cherished memory, even 15+ years later.
Had I made the trip with any of the characters in "House on Eden", I likely would have exited the vehicle, even while it was still in motion.
"House on Eden" is part of the found footage sub genre of film. In case you don't know for sure what this means, think of "The Blair Witch Project" or "Cloverfield". If you haven't seen either of those films, the description is right in the title. The idea behind these films is that the footage was found by someone and then we're seeing what is (more likely than not) the final moments of the people in the film.
For some, a found footage film is a cheap way to make an impact. Most of the time, you can come up with some flimsy plot and have your cast go from point A to point B and allow them to improvise. Improvisation isn't as easy as some people make it out to be. In order for it to remain relatively realistic, you have to have some manner of practice at it. If your cast is full of first time actors with little to no experience with acting, you're asking a lot of your audience.
A found footage film also allows the filmmakers to be lazy. If a camera angle doesn't look right or something is out of focus, they can hide behind the excuse that the characters aren't supposed to be good filmmakers. It is built into the genre. One of the chief complaints regarding the original "Blair Witch Project" was that the camera was so shaky that much of the footage was hard to make out. "House on Eden" makes the camerawork in "The Blair Witch Project" look Kubrickian by comparison.
"House on Eden" follows hosts of an internet show called "Spooky AF". The hosts Kris (Collins) and Celina (Myers) along with their cameraman (Mayer) get a lead on a haunted house that's off the beaten path. They decide to investigate it despite having done no research on the location ahead of time. Kris is adamant that this discovery will put them over the top while her co-host and cameraman disagree. Once they get to the house, all manner of spooky things start.
Collins and Myers are TikTok famous in real life. They both have a pretty decent following on there, mainly as comedians. Never in all the videos of theirs I've watched would I have believed either of them were capable of leading or creating a horror film. Collins, in her videos online, is naturally funny as well as engaging in her other content. She definitely has a presence. Myers, on the other hand, relies upon exaggerated faces and gesticulations to be "funny". To use a word that I feel far too old to be using, much of Myers' content is cringe.
In the film, they're not really doing anything as far as characterization goes. Granted, yes, it is a found footage horror movie so maybe I'm expecting too much, but none of the characters are likable. In order for any kind of film to be successful, you need to have engaging characters, even if they are annoying or terrible. You have to want to watch them.
From the beginning, Collins and Myers are constantly mugging for the camera. Much of their schtick seems forced and may indeed be tepid leftovers from the sketches they've done online. They seem to believe that whatever they do will be comedy gold and expect people to just find them hilarious. Not the case, at least not for me.
Something else that seems overly strange about this film is Collins herself. Not only is she credited with writing and directing the film, but she's also the star. More than a couple of times are there pretty gratuitous shots of her body and there are conversations by other characters about how desirable she is. The film seems to act as something to inflate her ego. The entire thing seems like a vehicle for her to promote herself. The whole idea of her writing and directing this while also playing the lead that is constantly spoken about by the other characters in the film feels very strange and makes the film that much more uncomfortable to watch.
As far as the writing aspect of the film, I am sincerely curious how much of this was actually written. For the most part, the actors seem to be improvising and they're not doing it well whatsoever. When the characters get into arguments, they're constantly using a particular word over and over again. Granted, swearing generally doesn't bother me, but when it seems to be used as a crutch in dialogue, it's just lazy. Even the most vulgar vulgarian in the world doesn't use the same word several times in the same sentence. It smacks of inexperience amongst the actors and becomes incredibly grating after a while.
For all my complaining, I guess you're wondering if there's anything about the film that's worth seeing. Honestly, no. It is neither good enough nor bad enough to be worth recommending. It is truly one of the most inept and terrible films I've seen in a while. The fact that it is 78 minutes with credits normally would indicate a somewhat breezy experience. Not the case here. Each and every second of the film lurches by.
For a horror movie, it should have been at least remotely scary. You'd think at least one or two of the sequences would have worked, but no. There's no suspense, not much gore and all the characters are pretty insufferable. On top of everything else, it breaks all kinds of rules as far as found footage goes. Some angles aren't explained how the camera got there and the ending sequence especially makes no sense because why would that particular thing be filmed and with that camera specifically? And, of course, who edited all this stuff together if the footage was truly only "found"?
Parts of the film could have easily been redeemed if any of the characters were interesting or engaging. As it stands, you're just waiting for them to get picked off. What's worse is the film doesn't have the gumption to show much of the violence on screen. Besides one scene, it's all implied and not in a clever Hitchcock kinda way.
Most situations can be improved by who you surround yourself with. Road trips, family reunions. Sometimes, even funerals. "House on Eden" proves the opposite is true and, for the seemingly interminable 78 minutes of its runtime, I kept thinking how I'd rather be driving in Tennessee in the middle of a snowstorm for hours than ever see this film a second time.
House on Eden (2025)
Directed by Kris Collins
Cast: Kris Collins, Celina Myers, Jason-Christopher Mayer
Runtime: 78 minutes
MPAA Rating: Rated R for pervasive language, some bloody violent content and graphic nudity.
Rating (out of ****): 1/2 (Half a star. Yes, it is that bad.)
"House on Eden" is available on Shudder with a subscription as well as to rent or buy on all major streaming platforms.
